The only good gaslighting

And some quotes

An appreciation

The fact that my brain is a world class jackass is not a secret, and even with my decades of work on its behavior, it still gets out of control at times, sometimes spectacularly. One of the tools I’ve got in my metaphorical tool belt is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT).¹

CBT has come under some fire on social media as being gaslighting, and I respect people’s opinions and experiences but that is not mine. I do think that sometimes things like HR trainings and continuing education (remember: the corporation cannot love you) try to apply certain CBT principles to inappropriate situations. A nurse’s reaction to a situation as being extremely stressful may be entirely natural and not caused by a misbehaving brain, for example.

I absolutely hated CBT at first, especially the stupid workbooks and worksheets that I was compelled to do. It’s hard work, and I didn’t want to do it, but eventually I decided to put in the effort and somewhat to my chagrin it turned out to help (yet another instance of my stubbornness getting in the way of something good or helpful or enjoyable).

I’m thinking about this today because yesterday I had to employ those CBT skills, and I had this moment of meta-awareness that they had kicked in automatically, taking me from a moment of hurt and “everyone hates me, the stuff I’m doing is useless” to several alternatives, none of which had that implication. Yay, progress!

TL;DR Therapy is great, everyone should do it.

Some quotes

“Just for the record: happiness is not bullshit.”

Less, Andrew Sean Greer.

“Most people can’t see all the layers in a person, just like they can’t taste all that goes into a pot. They chew and pick out one, two flavors. Cooks know every one.”

Let Us Descend, Jesmyn Ward

“It is so odd to be old enough to catch myself saying things like ‘I’m so glad they didn’t have that then.’”

Inciting Joy, Ross Gay

1. Obligatory disclaimer: I am not a therapist. Opinions are mine.